hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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