hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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