We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
