pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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