is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
