I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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