weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
