sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
