once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
