A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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