You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
