Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
