Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
