Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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