is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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