STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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