when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
