Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
