I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
