What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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