Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
