This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
