how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
