This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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