If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
