The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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