Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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