Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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