TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
