the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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