I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
