he puts the penis in happiness.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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