Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
