My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
