SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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