Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
