hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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