You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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