Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
