Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
