He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
