Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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