Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
