I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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