i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
