WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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