booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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