Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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