How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
