Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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