Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
